A really interesting poem with a compelling message and a nice, rhythmic structure.
If you want some constructive advice I'd draw your attention to the line "Must people be so cowardly – avoid the duty to protect and serve, even". I'm not sure why the word 'even' is put at the end of the line. Maybe there's a purpose I'm failing to see but to me it feels artificial, and gives the line that "instagram poetry" vibe.
Overall it's a good poem that's very easy to read, but one which inspires further thinking. I also like how the structure served the message. Well done!
A really interesting poem with a compelling message and a nice, rhythmic structure.
If you want some constructive advice I'd draw your attention to the line "Must people be so cowardly – avoid the duty to protect and serve, even". I'm not sure why the word 'even' is put at the end of the line. Maybe there's a purpose I'm failing to see but to me it feels artificial, and gives the line that "instagram poetry" vibe.
Overall it's a good poem that's very easy to read, but one which inspires further thinking. I also like how the structure served the message. Well done!
The whole passage reads:
"Must people be so cowardly – avoid the duty to protect and serve,
even in the face of tyrants wearing badges?"
Maybe the formatting messed up when I copied and pasted it from my word document.
I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the feedback!